Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Sister Update

From my previous post, I mentioned how my sister has not acknowledged Elizabeth's birthday. Well today, June 4, 2008 she called...right when I came home from picking Elizabeth up from school. I rushed off the phone because I wanted to talk to her a bit, but here is the conversation we did have:

"Hello" - me
"I'm so sorry" - her
"That's ok, sorry for what" - me
"I forgot her birthday" - her
"It's ok, don't worry about it" - me coldly
"No its not" - her
"I have to go, Elizabeth just came home, it was her last day of school. Talk to you later" - me

I had and have no intention of calling her....But I received an email asking me what she needs or wants...I sent her a email that reads like this:

Donna, I am not going to get into reasons, busyness, whatever regarding forgetting Elizabeth's birthday...I am well past that...

Please DO NOT get her anything, send anything, etc...I would feel forced to return it and not accept it...Birthday's are a time for celebrating, not feeling obligated...At this time, being the 2nd time, I truly think that it's too much of a burden for you to remember my daughter's birthday....I'm truly ok with that...She has other family and plenty of friends that do remember and love her...Birthday's are not about gifts anyway, its about people caring enough about someone to keep them important in your life.


Now I am going to go and celebrate the fact that we are done with school and will be moving on to an enjoyable summer...



Maybe it sounded harsh, but for once, I have no regrets sending this type of email...AT ALL!


Melodie said...

I completely understand what you did and why you felt you had to do it. I just recently had to help my mother write a similar "go screw yourself" email to one of her sisters. I actually pretty much wrote it for her because I am sick over the way my mother's sister has been treating my mother and didn't feel that my mother would be able to find the right words to convey just how hurt she was and how seriously she felt about what her sister was doing to her.
Unfortunately, the email sort of backfired on my mother, and her sister recruited another sister to gang up on my mother. Which put her back in the hospital. Now, I'm super-pissed.

Karen said...

Wow, I'm glad I didn't get that letter, lol. I think she will get the hint. My brother doesn't acknowledge my kids birthdays either or at Christmas. I don't let it bother me. I used to always give his boys presents for their birthday and Christmas but the last two years I've kind of been slacking. However, they are now teens and we've been broke. They live with their mom and we never get thank you cards or a phone call to thank us for the gift we sent them. A couple of times I wondered if they even got our present because we didn't hear anything from them or their mom or my brother letting us know they got the presents we sent. We were very good to them when they we little so I hope that counts for something. Anyway, sorry your sister let you down.

Heather said...

Wow, I need to let YOU handle my MIL, lol. I certainly could never have written a letter like that, but I'm not in your shoes and would probably have been happy to see that she eventually remembered. Only you know your situation though so if you are comfortable with your response than I am happy for you for having the guts to stand up for yourself (and DD).

Anonymous said...

Not harsh, just real. Family can be a weird and wonderful thing! I think you hit the nail on the head. It definitely should not be an obligation, which I think too often it ends up being. Good for you for stating your mind.