I do not even know why I am bothering posting a blog entry right now....I think just because I need to get some of my stress out in front of me...which hopefully I'll read a month from now and say, we've come a long way.
Over the last week it seems that Jillian's behavior has taken a turn again. It is very difficult....Time outs do not work, taking things away, does not work and all my discipline habits seem to not make a difference to her. Everything seems to be a joke with her. Summer camp is becoming difficult because she wants to do what she wants, when she wants and only IF she wants. I thought about pulling her, but reluctantly, brought her today. Even her teacher, who I think does a wonderful job, told me don't break her routine...LVC has been great and continues to work with her....This stress is coming out at home, between George and I. I swore that I would not let either one of my girls cause arguements between my husband and I, but we are starting to bicker over Jillian's behavior and the handling of it. Thankfully, we regroup and start over and continue to work together...It seems that the past few days, tears come at any given moment.
Elizabeth can display unacceptable attitudes, etc. I am not sure if she is going through a phase or if Jillian's negative behavior, that is grabbing our attention a lot of the time, is attracting Elizabeth's behavior. We've had 2 playdates this past week, Elizabeth alone with a friend and then the other one, with 2 friends and she was not always the pleasant hostess. She was upset if she was not the center of attention or if someone did not want to play a game she wanted to. I explained to her that she is the hostess...Not all the time all kids are going to want to do the same thing and she should say, Ok, I'll play "Break the Ice" and then can we all play "Monoploy"....I also told her that she needs to treat her friends as she would want to be treated...
I know I am going on and on....But the past couple of days...Mainly this week, has been hell! And tonight we start Oklahoma again for ONLY 3 nights..Thank God! I think I need to a quick getaway...Like maybe I should escape to the beach....by myself! LOL!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
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2 comments:
Debbie, I feel for you. Just remember that it doesn't matter how we want our kids to act or what we do to discipline, sometimes kids are going to act the way they want to act. I never judge another mom for the way their kid acts. I only get mad or upset when the parent doesn't intervene at all. You're doing a great job raising your girls. I do remember seeing a book on how to discipline the challenged child (I'm not sure if this was the title or not but it was something along those lines.) Anyway, I think it geared more to special needs kids (autistic, ADHD, SID, etc) but there may be some good techniques anyone could use. I'll have to do some digging to see if I can find out the title of the book.
Oh Debbie - I can truly feel your pain & frustration. I am sorry you've had a hellish week with all the behavior...I hope there is an upswing around the corner. I know parenting a spirited child is tough - I have come to like the term "spirited" vs. the other ones used like "difficult", "strong willed", etc. I have read so many umpteen books with different theories & approaches but I think we all just have to find our own way down this path. It is a very hard game of trial & error...but certainly no game. They find ways to test us & those in authority A LOT. Just keep as much as a unified front as possible & keep consistent. I found with Matthew that there were underlying things that in retrospect contributed to his behavior and there were something I shoulda/woulda/coulda done differently ....BUT we are here & now and can't change what I did or didn't do then. We just have to deal with now & move forward. You are a great Mom and you have incredible girls...this is an obstacle you have to plug along through...it may be a long obstacle course but you WILL make it through & you will find what works best for Jillian.
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